Now You've Gone
by The Lonely Goatherd
Summary: They had been traveling for days now and they would reach their destination tomorrow. The Emerald City. A faint green glow could be seen through the window, just beyond the horizon, a welcoming beacon.  Like a green rising sun Glinda remembers, Gelphie


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Wicked…though I wish I did…

**Author's Note:** I just couldn't keep away. Once again inspiration struck and I had to write. Once again you've come across a Gelphie one-shot. Enjoy! Oh and it's mix of the musical and the book…uh, yup!

**Summary: **Her hat. The one thing that had started their relationship, under false pretenses, was now the only thing that remained of the bond, in all sincerity. Hours after the death of Elphaba Glinda finds herself at the sight of the death, unable to keep her grief pent up any longer. Gelphie.

_**Inspired by this quote from the book…**_

"_In a single lumpy bed, they huddled together for warmth and encouragement and, Glinda told herself, protection."_ _pg. 169_

* * *

**Now You've Gone-  
****-A One-Shot**

Glinda the Good slowly walked back up the stairs of the west ward most tower of Kiamo Ko. She didn't bother to hike up the skirts of her dress, not caring if she tripped over the material or if the beautiful gown ripped. What did it matter anymore?

In a single moment the last string from her crumbling life had been pulled, now all that remained was a pile of rubble. The final straw had been drawn and she was left to pick up the pieces, though she didn't know where to start. But what did it matter if she did or not?

No matter what she did or what she fixed it would never be the same. She would never be able to undo the one and only thing she wished to put right. For it was the one thing that no one could fix. And even if she could, it's not like the citizens of Oz would want her too.

No, because anything she tried to fix always turned up for the worst and she was left to be unhappy.

Glinda had always been the happy one as the rest of Oz sat in fear. She fed off of their terror, really, reappearing when it seemed to get worse. She would give the same speech time after time, not really taking the rightful steps to right the wrong, for if she did, she wouldn't have been needed anymore. And if she hadn't been needed then she wouldn't have been happy.

But how the tables had turned. Because the one thing she should have fixed was no longer fixable. The citizens of Oz were finally happy and she was not. She was far from it, and she didn't think she would ever be again.

Elphaba was gone

A strangled sob escaped her lips as the tears began to fall once more. Now that she was no longer prancing over Oz ensuring everyone that the Witch was dead she finally allowed herself to cry again. Not that anyone would have noticed her tears, the blubbering idiots who thrived to hear her speak would mistake them for tears of joy.

On the last step of the stairs she tripped on her dress, sending her tumbling into the closed door. She winced as she felt her palm scrape against the wood door, leaving nothing but a red, raw abrasion.

Taking a steadying breath, that didn't do much, Glinda pulled herself to her feet and opened the door. An icy cold engulfed her, despite the fact that it was one of the warmest nights in Oz. The room was exactly the same as she had left it hours ago. Cold and bare. The only thing that indicated that there had once been life in the room was Elphaba's tall pointy hat, sitting on the floor where the green woman had spent her last dying minutes.

Glinda's sobs increased at the sight and she slowly made her way across the room towards the object. Her body began to shake and she wondered if her small legs would be able to support her much longer. As she neared the hat she reached out, almost cautiously, as if it would disappear upon contact, and grazed her fingers over the material. The moment her porcelain fingers made contact her legs finally gave and she was sent to the ground, Elphaba's black hat clutched to her chest.

She heard a resounding crack as her knee made contact with something on the floor, that she hadn't seen, but she didn't bother to look. She didn't care. Elphaba was gone. Tears racked her body, her shaking increasing. Her heart rate quickened as breathing became a hassle and she was reduced to nothing but gasps of air.

She supposed that in the past years it had always felt like Elphaba was dead. She flew around Oz, never making contact with Glinda. Never telling her that she was alright. But it had been enough. She had been alive. The mere thought that she was somewhere out there had been comforting to Glinda. But now, now Elphaba really was gone.

Dead, Glinda was certain that a part of her had died along with Elphaba.

"Oh Elphie," she chocked out into the hat.

Her hat. The only thing that remained of Elphaba. It still smelled of the green woman, and Glinda was certain it always would. A mix of Quox wood and old books. Glinda inhaled the scent and let it fill her, a sort of calm momentarily washing over her before her weeping increased tenfold.

Glinda's fingers idly stroked the smooth material of the hat. After all these years it was still as soft as it had been the day her Granny had sent it to her. But now, the smooth material was almost enough to make it rough and incapable of touching. But Glinda continued on, hoping that by doing so she would be able to bring Elphaba back.

Her hat. The one thing that had started their relationship, under false pretenses, was now the only thing that remained of the bond, in all sincerity.

Glinda continued to stroke the black hat and let the aroma of it fill her, finding herself being taken to another, happier, time…

_Glinda could clearly see Elphaba's hat outlined in the dark, dingy hotel room by the clear light of the moon. The two best friends were huddled together on the small single bed, Elphaba's body molding to Glinda's, a green arm wrapped protectively around her petite figure. Glinda thrived on the warmth she felt emanating from Elphaba's close body, the arm around her a protection from the world of the night. Protection from the shadows that lurked outside their window._

_They had been traveling for days now and they would reach their destination tomorrow. The Emerald City. A faint green glow could be seen through the window, just beyond the horizon, a welcoming beacon. Like a green rising sun. Glinda smiled at the sight. Finally after days traveling with risky strangers and nights spent in dodgy rooms they would finally be safe in the confines of the glorious capital of Oz._

_The slow pitter of rain began to sound, leaking into the room and hitting the floor at the foot of the bed. Glinda watched as the rain began to pick up speed, shielding the green light from view. She frowned. Was it an omen? When her thoughts traveled to how wonderful a city awaited them a rain began to fall? Glinda suddenly felt her stomach knot, always one who believed in signs, she was beginning to think this was a bad one._

_"Elphie?" her voice broke the night, quietly. She felt Elphaba shift behind her._

_"Wha-?" the woman's voice spoke quietly into her ear._

_"Are you awake?"_

_She heard Elphaba give a small cackle. "Glinda, if I wasn't do you think I would have been able to respond to you?"_

_Glinda huffed and turned so that the two were now facing each other. Her heart did a flip as Elphaba did nothing to remove her arm from around her waist. "You could have been talking in your sleep."_

_Elphaba laughed loudly, Glinda's hand immediately shooting to cover the laughter, scared it would disturb something, though she didn't know what. Elphaba laughed harder into Glinda's hand. The green woman removed her hand from Glinda's waist, pulled her porcelain hand away from her mouth, and placed in back on the mattress before once again putting her arm protectively around Glinda. "Like I would. I do believe you're the sleep talker, here."_

_Glinda blushed and pouted. "That was just that one time!" Elphaba laughed more, though quietly. "You think you're so funny, don't you?"_

_Elphaba shimmied down the length of the bed so that she was now eye level with her smaller friend. "Yes," she smirked._

_Glinda's eyes narrowed and she hit her friend on the shoulder. Elphaba's smirk morphed into a smile at the expression._

_They fell into a comfortable silence, the calm rain outside a welcome sound to the once ghostly silence. Glinda had her head cast down, playing with a loose string in their useless sheets. Though she couldn't see Elphaba, she could tell that the other was staring at her intently._

_"What?" she asked, not looking up from the string._

_"I was just wondering what you wanted."_

_"What I wanted?" she asked, finally looking up._

_Elphaba nodded. "You must have started talking for a reason," she stated looking Glinda in the eye._

_Glinda's breath caught as Elphaba stared down at her. Finding it hard to focus and comprehend anything. Her heart rate began to increase as she continued to stare. She had always known Elphaba had beautiful, dark eyes, and had often found herself dreaming of them. But this close they were…captivating. _

_"Glinda?"_

_Glinda's eyes flicked to the lips that had spoken her name, studying them. More and more each day Glinda found herself wondering what it would be like to feel those purple thin lips upon her own. A thought she knew she should abandon, but wanted nothing more than to experience. The thought alone made her feel, made her feel---Well, like she did now, with Elphaba's arm wrapped tightly around her body. Oddly exposed and safe at the same time. But safer than she had ever felt before, for she knew that, though she was exposed, there would be someone there to protect her._

_"Glinda." Elphaba's lips moved, making Glinda feel like she had been caught stealing a cookie from the jar before dinner, she quickly averted her eyes. They once again sought Elphaba's brown ones, that were now laced with concern._

_"Well?"_

_Glinda suddenly became aware that Elphaba was waiting for a response and she blushed, once again looking down to the stray string in the bedding. Her shaky fingers began to play with it again, as if it would help calm her down. "Oh, I was just wondering something."_

_"What?"_

Glinda shrugged. "What do you think it's going to be like."

_"What?" _

_Glinda could tell that she was beginning to confuse her friend and she knew that if she didn't explain herself more clearly, she, herself, would get lost as well. It had happened more than once before, after all. "I was just wondering what you thought tomorrow was going to be like."_

_"Well, what about tomorrow?"_

_"For starters, the Emerald City," Glinda finally said, allowing herself to look up at Elphaba, though carefully avoiding her eyes and mouth. She found Elphaba's pointy nose to be a good compromise; though she was certain she had never seen a more alluring nose._

_"Oh," Elphaba chuckled slightly. "That. Well, I suppose it's extravagant."_

_"Beautiful?"_

_"Most definitely," Elphaba smiled. _

_There was silence, Glinda wondering if she should ask her next question. It seemed stupid, when she thought about it. But a part of her couldn't help but wonder. "What do you think the Wizard will be like?"_

_Elphaba cocked her head to the side, amused. "Wonderful, of course. It is his name."_

_Glinda smiled sadly. "What if he's not?" she asked, her voice barely audible, but to Elphaba, it seemed clear as a bell._

_Elphaba's face suddenly became serious and Glinda chanced a look into her brown eyes. It was obvious by the somber expression that covered the green woman's face she had thought the question many times before. "He will be," the tone in Elphaba's voice nearly destroyed Glinda. "He has to be."_

_Never once had Glinda ever heard the strong woman sound so desperate and needy. Never once had she heard so much hope and longing in her voice. Never once had she sounded so utterly helpless. She always acted so unbreakable and brave and for the first time Glinda realized that she wasn't. That Elphaba was just as scared as she was._

_"Oh Elphie," Glinda choked out, instantly engulfing the taller woman in a hug. She wedged her blonde head between the mattress and Elphaba's neck, trying to get as close to the green woman as possible. Her arms clutched to the woman as if her life depended on it and Glinda was unsettled to find that Elphaba returned the embrace with more power than Glidna would have thought, or liked. It was as if she was clinging to the embrace, needing it to live and to believe that all she lived for was true._

_The blonde was acutely aware that she could feel Elphaba's warm breath hitting her ear and she was more than certain that Elphaba could feel her own breath caressing her green shoulder._

_"Elphie, why do you do this to yourself?" She asked, stroking Elphaba's back and feeling her relax into the touch._

_"Do what?" Elphaba's question came out in one breath._

_"Act so brave all the time. You'll destroy yourself."_

_Glinda couldn't tell, but she was more than positive she heard a restrained sob emanate from the emerald skinned beauty. Though she knew Elphaba would never admit to it._

_Glinda tightened her hold. "You don't have to," she whispered, trying to let her friend know that she could allow herself to be comforted just once. That she could allow others to care for her._

_"Yes, I do," came the reply, Elphaba's voice stronger than it had ever been before, though she merely whispered._

_"No," Glinda said softly yet firmly. Feeling brave she placed a light, lingering kiss on the crook of Elphaba's neck. "You don't," she finished, her lips brushing against green skin as she spoke, before she place another kiss on Elphaba's bare shoulder. "You don't," she whispered again, shifting and placing a small kiss on the corner of Elphaba's thin mouth._

_Glinda immediately regretted her actions as she felt Elphaba stiffen at the contact. _

_What had she just done? Glinda's face turned beet red, she couldn't believe she had actually allowed herself to do such a thing.. It wasn't possible. She hadn't, she simply hadn't…But she did._

_She began to breath heavy, certain she was beginning to have a panic attack._

_Elphaba began to pull away, and Glinda knew it was because she wanted to know why she had just done such a thing. Could she even give an answer? Yes, she knew why, though she hated to admit it, she knew exactly why. Knowing she wouldn't be able to face the look in Elphaba's eyes, Glinda clung ever tighter to the thin woman, merely to avoid it all._

_"Glinda," Elphaba whispered, grabbing her by the upper arms and prying the small woman from her own body. She had to push Glinda back with her legs, trying to get as much leverage as she could._

_Glinda kept her head bowed, her eyes trained on the bedding. She could feel Elphaba staring at her, but she refused to meet the gaze. She felt Elphaba place her green hand on her upper arm as she began to rub small circles on it. Glinda knew what she was doing, trying to coax her into looking up. But she wouldn't budge. No…_

_But it was a sweet gesture, waiting for her to speak, and the feeling of Elphaba's hand slowly rubbing her soft skin was so…so…intoxicating. Despite all her efforts, Glinda felt her body move on it's own accord as her head shifted up, her eyes seeking Elphaba's._

_The green woman had a peculiar look on her face. Astonishment, slight amusement, and something else Glinda couldn't place. But above all they were questioning. She tilted her head to the side, much like a puppy, asking a silent question._

_Try as she might, Glinda couldn't hide the answer, knowing that Elphaba could read her as if she was just another book. Slowly, she closed her eyes, trying to get away from the reality of the situation. She heard Elphaba give a breathy chuckle._

_So now her friend knew. She knew of Glinda's silent thoughts. Of the thoughts that Glinda was drawn to, like a moth to a flame. Knowing she shouldn't near, but unable to resist. Her inner most secret that she so desperately tried to keep at bay and hidden. She fought to control the tears she began to feel behind her closed eyes. She had ruined the one friendship that had only ever mattered. _

_Yet, if she had ruined it, why was Elphaba still drawing small, soft circles on her arm?  
Glinda slowly opened her eyes, Elphaba's dark eyes immediately meeting her own blue. It was like night meeting day. A small smirk sat on Elphaba's face, and though she wasn't making any sound, her eyes indicated that she was laughing. Glinda furrowed her brow, more than confused._

_Slower than she could have imagined, she felt Elphaba's hand move from her upper arm down to her waist, where it stopped. Glinda watched in surprised horror as green pointy features drew nearer to her. When their noses were barely touching, Elphaba stopped, Glinda could tell the woman was having a debate with herself. She could only lie still in shock as Elphaba made up her mind and quickly closed the remaining distance between them._

_The kiss was chaste, ending just as quickly as it had started, but to Glinda it had been the longest moment of her life. The minute Elphaba's line like lips met hers she felt an indescribable warm flood through her body. It was like she was on fire, but if this was what it felt liked to be burned Glinda never wanted it to end and would readily jump into the blaze._

_She kept her eyes closed as Elphaba pulled away, wondering if she was in the midst of another dream or not. Would she wake in the morning in her warm comforting bed at Shiz, Elphaba sleeping soundly across the room?_

_Slowly she opened her eyes. The green woman had the most peculiar look covering her verdigris features. It was a self-satisfied smirk, mixed with a smile of sorts. She almost didn't even look like Elphaba, and despite the fact that there was no other green woman in all of Oz, the only thing that hinted that it was still the same Elphie was her eyes. _

_The look made Glinda smile, timidly. She rose a shaky hand and placed it lightly on Elphaba's cheek, faintly rubbing her thumb across the bony feature, before once again closing the gap between them, her small fingers tangling themselves in raven black hair._

_If anyone had told Glinda what would happen in the hours to follow, her cheeks would have turned her a permanent shade of pink…and they did…_

…_The sun began to rise, reducing the sparkle of the distant Emerald City to nothing but a faint glow. A wishful hope to travelers. Glinda and Elphaba were lying on the bed, arms and legs entwined, cuddling closer than they ever had before. Glinda was higher up in the bed, with Elphaba's head resting against her bare shoulder, green arms wrapped tightly around a snowy waist. Glinda idly ran her fingers though Elphaba's long hair, amazed at how smooth and silky the woman's hair really was. Her small chin rested itself upon Elphaba's head._

_It was funny really, this was the same position Elphaba had always held Glinda in during the nights of their journey, and Glinda was beginning to find it even more comforting returning the gesture than receiving it. Elphaba was drawing a small figure eight on Glinda's hip with her fingers, but the ministration was slowing, as Glinda realized the woman was finally falling asleep. Glinda couldn't blame her and wished to do the same, but sleep wouldn't find her now._

_They had stayed up the whole night, Glinda felt her face flush, and had finally moved into the comfortable position they were in now only a few hours prior. They had talked for a while, until it dwindled into nothing and a comfortable silence took over, each content in the other's presence._

_Glinda watched the sun slowly rise in the sky, creating a soft glow in their room. _

_It scared her, to some extent, how Elphaba made her feel so content. Never had anyone made the blonde feel so safe and loved, yet so frightened at the same time. It was like she was, in a way, home. No one could make her feel like she did when Elphaba was around and she didn't think anyone ever would._

_But what did she make her feel? What was this feeling? She had an inkling at what it might be, but she couldn't believe it. Could she really feel that way towards her raven haired, emerald friend? If the last few hours were any indication, then yes, she could._

_Glinda looked down at her friend, or was it something else now? Her skin was, no doubt, different; her sharp features even more exotic, to say the least. But to Glinda, she realized, they were the most attractive features a human body could hold. To Glinda, she felt, they were everything. A representation of the woman beneath it all. Wild, eccentric, charming, thrilling, compassionate, passionate, kind, and beautiful. They were Elphaba._

_"You shouldn't stare, it's unbecoming," Elphaba's drowsy voice said, making her sound as if she were somewhere between the realms of reality and dream._

_Glinda smiled. "I would think you would be used to it by now," she teased. The only response she received was a sharp pinch on her upper thigh. "Ow!" she half whined, half laughed, jumping slightly._

_"I said it was unbecoming, I never said I wasn't used to it," Elphaba replied, returning to the chore of stroking Glinda's hip. "Penny for them," she said, after Glinda didn't respond._

_"What?" Glinda asked, looking down once again to find that Elphaba still had her eyes closed._

_"Penny for your thoughts," the other replied while trying to stifle a yawn._

_"Oh, well, I--" She what? She should tell Elphaba what she had been working out in her head? Was it safe to do so? But if that wasn't safe, then why were they in their current position, sheets and nightwear thrown carelessly on the floor, using the other as a blanket. If she had allowed the last few hours to happen then why not say it. They were going to have to talk about what happened anyways, so why not just come out and say it now?_

_"Elphie, I--I--think--" She stammered, trying to find words to begin. In all her pausing, Elphaba finally shifted her head upwards and opened her eyes, looking patiently at Glinda. Glinda caught her brown eyes for a second, "I--think it's time we get up."_

They had never talked about what happened, the next hour spent in anticipation of seeing the city, both lost in their own thoughts, hands and fingers entwined. The city itself had been a distraction and they had easily been swept up in its grandeur. Then they had been immediately taken to the Wizard, where their lives had parted.

Glinda never knew the whole truth about that night. For all she knew she could have just been a way for Elphaba to take out all of her fears and frustrations. Nothing more than a one night indulgence on the way to the Emerald City. A moment of exploration and experimentation. But as Glinda sat huddled to the stone floor of the westward most tower of Kiamo Ko she knew it wasn't true, or she at least wished it.

For it had been real for her that night. It had been so much more, but she had never gotten the opportunity to Elphaba so. Their lives being so horribly altered shortly thereafter. And now, it seemed, she would never be able to.

Glinda let out a muffled cry at the thought, her body convulsing even more.

The Good Witch would never be able to tell the wicked woman what she had meant to her. She would never be able to tell her the truth about what she had felt and why she had done what she did. She would never be able to explain that the jealousy had never been about Fiyero's betrayal, but Elphaba's. How if had never been about Fiyero in the first place. How he had just been there for all of society to see. Oh, maybe in the beginning it had truly meant something. But as the girls relationship grew, it seemed to take a back seat. As Glinda's feelings changed the ones she held for Fiyero dwindled to nothingness. He was simply there.

The perfect man, the perfect woman, so perfect together. The perfect lie.

Glinda would never get the chance to explain that her anger at seeing them run off together was not what Fiyero had taken from her, but from what she had believed Elphaba had given her all those years ago in that tatty hotel bed. What she had caught a glimpse of, but was promised never to receive it again.

"Oh Elphie," Glinda cried out in pain. The rubble her life had created hours ago was beginning to slip away into nothingness. Glinda could handle pieces, but what did one have in nothingness?

She would never be able to do any of it.. Never. Such an awfully long time.

"Oh Elphie…so much," she cried into the hat, dampening the thick material. "I loved you so much," she whimpered, speaking the truth for the first time has her sobs and cries reduced to nothing but dry heaves and coughs.

* * *

Elphaba sat beneath the trapdoor in west ward most tower of Kiamo Ko, listening. Though the voice was muffled Elphaba knew exactly who it was and she could hear every word as if she were holding the woman in her arms. Every cry and moan crept through Elphaba's skin, devouring her.

There was an odd feeling when hearing someone cry and knowing you could do nothing about it. Never before in her life had the Witch felt useless. It was like having a book on the meaning of life then sitting and watch someone try to decipher the answer for themselves.

She wrapped her arms tightly around her body, willing the sound to go away. It was too much. Too much hearing pain and knowing she had caused it. She had done it all her life, but knowing that Glinda was the victim made it all the worse. She rocked, trying to think of something happy to block out the weeping, but her mind immediately went to the blonde beauty above her.

_"…I loved you so much_._" _The last words spoken felt like a knife being plunged into Elphaba's heart. It was like her world fell apart and yet finally completed itself at the same time. She wanted to do something, needed to, but what? She was dead to the world and the blonde above her, there was nothing she could do.

Elphaba slowly stood and placed her hand flat against the trap door that separated her from the one person she needed more than anything. She convinced herself that the gesture was enough to let Glinda know that she felt the same. That she always had and always would.

As she stood in the dark, hand pressed to the door above her, trying to convey a message that wasn't being received, Elphaba Thropp allowed herself to cry for the first time.

_Fin_

* * *

**Author's Note: **Wow! Just over seven pages!! I hope you enjoyed this! I certainly enjoyed writing it!!! Please let me know what you think! Thanks!

Until next time,  
Your Author,  
The Lonely Goatherd


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